Review: Sex and the City 2

Where to begin? Sex and the City 2 is eye-wateringly awful.

I can not stress strongly enough though, that this is not a knee jerk reaction to the franchise. While I wouldn't call myself a fan of the series, only a fool could deny how groundbreaking it was both as a statement of female empowerment and as a piece of entertainment. And while the first cinematic entry didn't quite have the spark of the series it was an entertaining enough romp and a serviceable adaptation.

The sequel however, is not. Seemingly content to do away with anything that made the show relevant or intelligent, Sex and the City 2 instead opts to hammer it's audience about the head with a slew of childish innuendo, toilet humour and some simply jaw dropping political incorrectness for good measure, but more on that in a moment.

Perhaps the biggest issue that Sex and the City 2 has initially is that it's lead character Carrie Bradshaw is perhaps the least likeable central character in recent memory. Her trials and tribulations have always been trite but they were offset by some real drama, smart writing and when else failed more interesting characters. Here with all that stripped away Carrie is vacuous, boring, short tempered and monstrously self centred. Her worries and concerns so trivial that it eventually becomes insulting.

For example, at around the 45 minute mark Carrie and her husband John are exchanging anniversary gifts. John leads her into the bedroom to show her the brand new plasma television he had installed for them to watch romantic films in bed. Carrie recoils in horror at this, "A piece of jewellry would have been nice!" she moans before shuffling out of the room. This is our protagonist! Our hero! In what sane universe are we as an audience supposed to emphasise with this character? And this isn't even a throwaway moment, this is the conflict that puts the whole story into motion. Carrie begins to have second thoughts about married life (two years later I might add). She is bored of her million dollar apartment and annoyed that John is too busy to accompany her to the latest movie premieres, so we are treated to scene after scene of her looking bored accompanied by scenes of her explaining how bored she is. Riveting.

I must point out, my disdain for Carrie is no reflection on Sarah Jessica Parker. She gets an awful lot of very cruel flack and it is wholly undeserved. She has proven in the past that she is a capable and charming actor, but try as she might she just cannot redeem or bring any of that charm to what the script has given her.

The other girls fare slightly better but they are all but relegated to the sidelines. Cynthia Nixon is given nothing to do, a shame as her character Miranda is the only one of the four who had any real issues to deal with. Kristin Davis continues to bring a sweet charm to the prim and proper Charlotte but again is given nothing to work with. In this outing Charlotte is worried that her new Irish nanny might prove a distraction to her husband (get this, the nanny is called Erin and she doesn't wear a bra. My Sides!) In the films single highpoint Miranda and Charlotte discuss the difficulties of motherhood and just as it threatens to become enjoyable we are whisked back to Carrie as she agonises over whether or not to cheat on her husband. Finally, the always reliable Kim Catrell is on hand to inject some life into proceedings. Catrell at this point seems to have given up playing Samantha as anything other than a cartoon character. Strutting around like a particularly foul mouthed panto dame she may as well be winking at the audience. It's ridiculous but to her credit Catrell is more than aware and more than happy to throw herself into it.

For 90 minutes Sex and the City 2 is a film about nothing. Four incredibly fortunate women spend money and attend premieres. If this was all that was wrong with it, it would have simply bored me, but the second act sees the girls travel to Abu Dhabi and then the real nightmare starts.

There is comedy in the idea of four New York socialites travelling to the Middle East and trying to adapt to that culture. With the greatest of care some real humour could have been extracted. The problem is that writer/director Michael Patrick King approaches this idea with all the subtlety of an charging Elephant. The girls sit and stare slack jawed at a woman in a burqa eating chips. One of the girls comments that the whole idea of the burqa freaks her out and the scene ends. How insightful. In another scene (that I genuinely couldn't decide was meant to be scary or funny) Samantha taunts a group of men, proclaiming that she has sex and begins miming said sex. She and the girls are rescued by a group of women and taken indoors. When the women learn that the girls are New Yorkers they shed their own clothes and excitedly reveal the Spring fashion line they all secretly wear underneath and explain how they all long to live in New York. That's when my eyes started watering.

Reading that back I must come across as some PC nut and I'm really not, I'm not averse to a bit of controversy. As far as I'm concerned no topic should be off limits, but if you decide to attack or make comment on something as sensitive as this you need to be damn sure you have something valid to say. Sex and the City 2 is quite happy to leave it at "I don't know it just freaks me out".

This is the one of the most offensive films I have seen in a long time, A film that, like it's main character, is mind numbingly ignorant, boring and vacant. Get out while you John, take the TV and run.